The phone rings at 6 a.m. It’s the assisted living facility. My stomach sinks. My mother has fallen and is in the ER. No other details.
I rush to the hospital, finding her awake, confused about the fuss. The nurse has started an IV, and I field endless questions with few answers. It’s not our first ER visit, but I’m still figuring out this caregiving journey—juggling my business, my life, and her care. Hyper-vigilant, exhausted, and drowning in guilt, I’m always bracing for the next crisis.
She lives in a nice assisted living apartment with her cat. The staff is kind. Yet, she is lonely, grieving my father and brother, both lost in the same week. She has resources, but she leans on me for everything. Every weekend, I bring her to my home in the country. She loves it, but the push and pull between her needs and my own wears me down. When I return her on Mondays, she always asks, “When will I see you again?” I drive away exhausted, resentment creeping in.
By 3 p.m., after hours in the ER, she is diagnosed with a UTI—common in the elderly. She smiles at me in the car, rubs my neck, and says she loves me. The worry in her eyes mirrors my own. Back at her apartment, the nurse tells me she can’t be alone. My night is no longer mine. I rush home for supplies, cancel my week, and surrender to another night of caregiving.
This was just one of many ER visits over six years. Over time, I learned to manage the chaos—keeping her medical records on hand, bringing my laptop to the hospital, waiting to notify my brothers, and hiring a CNA for support. Most importantly, I set boundaries: one weekend a month was mine, and I redefined when staff should call me.
– Robin Weeks
Burnout hit hard after three years. I shifted my focus from relentless duty to meaningful moments. I let go of guilt, embraced support, and reclaimed my time—so I could be a better daughter, not just a caregiver.
In her final years, as she moved to a higher level of care, I still visited daily, but I learned to slow down. We sat in the gardens, looked through old photos, and shared stories. At 94, she passed peacefully, with me by her side.
Now, looking back, I cherish not just the caregiving—but the moments of love, laughter, and presence we shared.
Robin Weeks is a certified caregiving consultant, executive coach, and family caregiver advocate. With over 20 years of experience in leadership and experiential learning, she helps family and emerging caregivers navigate their roles confidently and in balance.
Through her PATH coaching and membership community, Robin provides expert guidance, curated resources, and live workshops to prevent burnout and foster well-being. Having been a caregiver herself, she blends lived experience with proven strategies to empower caregivers to reclaim time, reduce stress, and create a more fulfilling caregiving journey.
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